Category Archive: Uncategorized

Mission Statement


Immediately after the United Chelsea result in the late afternoon of April 4th, every member of the squad received a mysterious but urgent call to assemble IMMEDIATELY at the London Colney training ground.… Continue reading

Consider My Loins Girded


And so, as the next match approaches, I begin my weekend rituals and ablutions in preparation for another moment when our season, and so much more, hangs by a thread, suspended from a… Continue reading

Oxlade-Chamberlain is not the Santi Arsenal wants…


“Oxlade-Chamberlain is not the Santi Arsenal wants, but the one it needs right now.” – Lt. James Gordon. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on song…Xhaka’s wingman. Handler of the press, dribbler par excellence, counter-attacker, sprayer of… Continue reading

The Giroud:Perez Axis


Lucas Perez…The Forgotten Man. It seems oddly fitting that Lucas Perez keeps slipping from our consciousness. He arrived with much fanfare and speculation. The season started. And then we waited to see our… Continue reading

Chicks Are Weird


Chicks Are Weird… Note: This is not about football this time. This is a story from my dating days… My girlfriend asked me to clean out her skin care bag. 37 items! How… Continue reading

Broke Back Bournemouth


Broke Back Bournemouth The understanding that Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil are now displaying is fairly breath-taking at times. They are becoming a continuation of each other, becoming more and more interchangeable on the… Continue reading

I BEG TO DIFFER


I BEG TO DIFFER I read your opinion on Twitter. I beg to differ. Unfortunately, narratives are far neater than reality. (Reality is a thoroughly messy affair upon close inspection.) When me and… Continue reading

Patrick Timmons Is Shite


Right, I am about to write my worst blog ever. It’s an exposé of what those populist Arsenal-tweeting/retweeting accounts are up to and why. I’m going to expose them by telling you everything I know… Continue reading

Why I love Pre-Pre-Season


I love pre-season. Or even pre-pre-season. Those 1st couple of games against nobodies (although Lens were pretty handy and these MLS lads are well up for it too.) Those games against Thailand XI… Continue reading

The 1st Rule Of Mesut Özil Club…Or How I learned To Löw Jogi


The First Rule Of Mesut Özil Club: In an underground bunker basement stands Mesut Özil, dimly lit, encircled by a tough, intense and edgy crowd of wanna be warriors, hanging on his every… Continue reading