Unai Emery…He’s One Of Our Own

A quick word of warning. This blog is more about me being a bit of a racist than it is about Arsenal. So…I was watching the Boreham Wood game, and just as it… Continue reading

Club Announces Rube Goldberg Emery. Plus Arsenal’s Coach Selection Process Exposed.

Breaking:¬†How Rube Goldberg Became Arsenal Coach. Surprised the Emirates Chiefs? Emery blew their goddamn tits off. Listen up… Mikel Arteta headed out of the conference room pulling his packed travel case behind, a… Continue reading

Behold Excalibur. For it is mighty.

Right. Well that was a fucking awesome game. Tactically we were superb in that we won. And we changed some shit tactically which always looks cool when other teams do it and which… Continue reading

Mission Statement

Immediately after the United Chelsea result in the late afternoon of April 4th, every member of the squad received a mysterious but urgent call to assemble IMMEDIATELY at the London Colney training ground.… Continue reading

Consider My Loins Girded

And so, as the next match approaches, I begin my weekend rituals and ablutions in preparation for another moment when our season, and so much more, hangs by a thread, suspended from a… Continue reading

Oxlade-Chamberlain is not the Santi Arsenal wants…

“Oxlade-Chamberlain is not the Santi Arsenal wants, but the one it needs right now.” – Lt. James Gordon. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on song…Xhaka’s wingman. Handler of the press, dribbler par excellence, counter-attacker, sprayer of… Continue reading

The Giroud:Perez Axis

Lucas Perez…The Forgotten Man. It seems oddly fitting that Lucas Perez keeps slipping from our consciousness. He arrived with much fanfare and speculation. The season started. And then we waited to see our… Continue reading

Chicks Are Weird

Chicks Are Weird… Note: This is not about football this time. This is a story from my dating days… My girlfriend asked me to clean out her skin care bag. 37 items! How… Continue reading

Broke Back Bournemouth

Broke Back¬†Bournemouth The understanding that Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil are now displaying is fairly breath-taking at times. They are becoming a continuation of each other, becoming more and more interchangeable on the… Continue reading


I BEG TO DIFFER I read your opinion on Twitter. I beg to differ. Unfortunately, narratives are far neater than reality. (Reality is a thoroughly messy affair upon close inspection.) When me and… Continue reading