Mesut Ozil’s Sex Tape

via “Mesut Ozil has created 20.4% of Arsenal’s chances in the Premier League this season. The highest % of any EPL player.” With the scandalous release of that sex tape last week… Continue reading

Stockholm Syndrome

“Anyone who hasn’t enjoyed watching Arsenal in the last few years, especially at home, can’t really like football much.” – Nick Hornby, 2009. Bloody hell. Napoli, City, Chelsea then West Ham. Only 20… Continue reading

Schrödinger’s Midfielder

Trevor Francis, Commentator for the Arsenal vs Cardiff match: “It’s a joy to watch the best midfield in the country.” Tony Jones, Commentator for the Cardiff match: “It is one of the toughest… Continue reading

Balls Deep In Our Midfielders

It’s a funny old game, football. One minute your team is, by general media and public consensus, a bit shit, full of average players, extremely thin, and lacking the X-factor. Then the Summer brings new hope,… Continue reading

Hard Out There For A Pundit

Hard Out There For A Pundit “We’ve got a Big Effing German,” they sing at Arsenal. You know who else has a Big Effing German? Germany. So, Mr Pundit, you just discovered Mertesacker,… Continue reading

If Dortmund Played In The Premier League…Updated

This post was originally inspired by one of those tweets that lustily hinted that the tweeter/Gooner would gladly swap Klopp for Wenger and thereby turn Arsenal into Dortmund overnight. Yes, if only we… Continue reading

The Fires Of The Furnace

Follow @PoznanInMyPants I, like many of you, sensed early on that something different was afoot this year. This team had some metal to it beyond just playing good football. In fact, to be… Continue reading

Shhh! Ozil thinks it’s always like this.

Shhh! Ozil thinks it’s always like this. So I sent in my idea to Arsenal via the dot com. You know the one. The one about rewarding a lucky fan once a month… Continue reading

For Whom Nothing Is Written

For Whom Nothing Is Written T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) was a brilliant visionary, a man of science, an outsider, a foreigner in a foreign land and in his own. He was illegitimate… Continue reading

A Theo-Shaped Hole

A Cesc-Shaped Hole I wrote a blog this summer. It was approximately 5,000 words long (my typical blog is 1,000 words long.) It was in hopeful anticipation of the Return of the Dauphin,… Continue reading