Prediction: Wenger Will Get Pep For His Replacement
There has been much twittery about the succession of Arsene over the last 12 months since Steve Bould was brought in as assistant while the ever tantalizing Pep Guardiola butterfly has yet to alight on the English Rose of his choosing. While ruminating on such matters, a vision formed…
I’m sick of @goonerdave66 whipping out blogs from the past where he predicted everything from why Arsenal should sign Poldi and Giroud to who the fifth scorer would be in a future 6-1 defeat of Southampton. It sickens me. That bastard.
I assume he is doing it by writing every possible kind of random blog with every possible permutation. Et voila, he whips out one he wrote earlier. It pisses me off.
So I fell upon a cunning plan. Rumours that Dave kept a Crystal Ball next to his bed haunted my waking dreams.
And so I shimmied up his drain pipe (Oi Oi!) in the dead of night, stole into his bedroom, rummaged around his dusty old sack dangling over the side of the bed, and low and behold! There it twinkled, The Precious.
So I shined his orb, squinted with my good eye, and here is what I saw:
wavy, wavy cloudy vision slowly becomes crystal clear…
It’s 20xx, and for years the top clubs have been in a death match to capture the services of one Pep Guardiola. Chased by United, City, Chelsea, the Spaniard is much in demand. But Arsenal and Wenger in particular have had their eye on the Spaniard. They have wooed and seduced, and beyond everyone’s expectations Arsenal have once again got their man!
Yes, we got him! This #4, this genius of a deep lying midfielder, this midfield general who surveys all before him, this puller of strings, this leader of men.
As was clear from many interviews, Arsene is an aficionada of Spanish midfield tiki-taka. Many thought the promotion of Steve Bould to the first team coaching ranks presaged a further promotion to the top spot.
But Wenger hadn’t moulded Arsenal into one of the most progressive teams in world football to then hand it to one who did not share his vision of sublime attacking, passing football, knowing that everything in modern football flows from the number 4 position. And no country better exemplified this philosophy than Spain. Wenger just HAD to go Spanish.
For Wenger, defensive failure was a failure of the midfield. Therefore he needed someone who was wired the same way. Someone who, in their darkest moment, saw salvation emanating from midfield. A Barca man.
He moved for the man who could bring pep to Arsenal’s midfield, the man who had mastered the light arts of Tiki-Taka. Retiring as a player, the Spaniard entered coaching by taking over his club’s 2nd team at the age of 36, and was very soon after promoted to coach the 1st team. He was reaching the zenith of his coaching powers in his 41st year. It was a natural progression for one who loved the club that had brought him to the spotlight of European football that he so craved.
How had Arsenal achieved this coup, when the world was chasing Pep Guardiola? Well…it was rather straight-forward. Why wouldn’t Mikel want to take over from Arsene.
Say what, now? *Screeching of tyres.* Exqueeze me? Mikel? As in Mikel Arteta? But you said, Pep, didn’t you…?
Why bring in their Pep who, let’s be realistic, isn’t coming to Arsenal anyway, when we can have our Mikel – home-grown keeper of the Tiki-Taka flame? Our very own Barcelonan.
We don’t buy Superstar coaches, we make them.
Mikel and Arsene: they were birds of a feather, kindred souls: classy, intelligent, obsessed with attacking, flowing football. They shared a vision of what the Arsenal Way could be. As Arsene moved gracefully into his 70’s he could then enjoy the rest of an old man who knows the farmstead is in safe hands.
The latter third of Mikel’s playing career would be spent at Arsenal, weaving and dancing with Santi and Wilshere, to produce the best Spanish tiki-taka played by any midfield anywhere. This was burned into the psyche of club and player. This was The Arsenal Way of playing.
Mikel could transition into management at Arsenal on a similar path and timeline as Pep at Barca.
Here is what Santi had to say to Arteta recently:
“Here at Arsenal, you’re a real leader. Upon my arrival, I was a little surprised at the level of respect that everyone has for you in the dressing room. But when I saw you play with the group and on the field, it is obvious that almost all consider you Captain. You are a leader. I’m no good at that, nobody would listen to me! But when you talk, they listen. You are already a leader of the team, and if we follow your lead, we are trained to fight for everything.”
Now, I hope current captain Vermaelen never lays eyes on that interview. Maybe the simplest explanation for the quote is that Santi’s English is non-existent and Mikel is the only player he can understand.
And then there are the things Arsene has said about Mikel:
“He is always 100% focused and committed and that is what you want from a real professional. He brings the best out of other players.
“I believe he is a winner and a fighter as well. I think he possesses both aspects of the game of a real midfielder – that means he can defend and he can attack. That is what we looked for.”
And later, after the 1-0 City game at the Emirates last year…
“He is a player you don’t like to lose, because he is an organiser, a winner and has great qualities.”
“He first won the ball back through complete focus on what the opponent will do and where he could lose the ball. He then finished the action and scored the goal. That is what I call a real midfielder, a guy who is always in the game.”
The more I ponder it, the more obvious the future seems. Get thee to the bookie’s office before everyone else sees it too.
There are many names who the faithful throw about as a possible future manager. But Mikel Arteta fits the bill perfectly, hand-crafted by the football gods themselves.
Move over @goonerdave66. Nostradamus, me arse! If you want your crystal ball back, come on over and shine my orb for me.
“Mikel Arteta, Arsenal Manager.” Anyone got a problem with the sound of those words? Nope. Me neither.
brilliant blog as always mate.. it’s why i don’t mind u posting sporadically.. a Mikel blog and no mention of his hair is my only grapple.. i wouldn’t want P.G as our manager..would be awesome If M.A8 were though..
I have always felt Dave is Arsene in disguise . Almost all his predictions have come true from Ramsey playing on the right to Arteta being the new Makele . Only prediction that maybe went wrong was we going for Dempsey . If that had come true it would have been certain he is Arsene Wenger 😛 . I initially thought you were going to write about Pep . I do not want him to coach our club regardless of the talent he may have . I absolutely love the idea of Arteta being our Manager in future but I think Dave has already pencilled Rosicky for that so I would wait for his blog . But I absolutely adore Arteta . He is my favorite player in the team right now and would love to see his impeccable Hair in the dugout shouting at our players!!!
Yes Dave almost always gets his shout right. Dont know if it will come true but would be amazing if you are right on this call. Would be awesome to see Arteta coaching arsenal after his retirement after another 5 years minimum (hopefully).
Great post,mate. I ‘ve never thought of Arteta as our manager but now that i’ve read this post i can get the thought of Our little Spaniard patrolling the touchline and stroking his leggo hair.
Hey mate, great post. Have you thought about changing the background colour from white to a darker one like grey? Hurts the eye to read from the white background.
Oh man, I am so hoping Rylee goes back to visit Ally or runs into Ally (maybe at the fundraiser) and they can talk. It would be a terrible guilt for Rylee to live with if something happened to Ally and Rylee didn’t stop it for fear of emabsrarsment.
The bit on”Majored” had me in stitches! Yet again. Great blog as always lad!
Wenger won’t retire for a while hopefully and then it should be Steve Bould who takes over. Guardiola inherited a good squad the most notable contribution he has made to Barca is to buy flops like Chygrinsky for 20m and Ibrahimovich for 50m he is the complete opposite of Wenger. 20m is the whole Arsenal budget imagine giving that to Guardiola he would probably come back with magic beans. Plus he said that he had players as good as Wilshere on his bench and that Arsenal could play they’re youngsters because they had no trophies to win.
Even when you’re not writing a funny football blog, you still write a very good one. Chapeau bas, monsieur.
You have many of us Gooners thinking: “how the hell I never thought of Arteta as a successor of Mr. Wenger?”
our teta ..excellent…
i also agree with concon….the work of ten kate and raijkard and the foundations cruyff has been setting there the last 4 decades shouldnt be ignored.
Already coming true: http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/arteta-i-will-consider-management-one-day
He’s not Spanish, he’s Catalan, you ignoramous.
I may be an ignoramous but he is Spanish. You ignoramous.
And Arteta is Basque.
I like your thinking but I wouldn’t rule out Berkampe ,could be good!!!
Yes, but he doesnt like to travel!
I think it should be Berkamp/Frank de Boer, the current Ajax managers who take over at Arsenal when Wenger’s reign is over.
They are doing a wonderful job on an extremely limited budget… Rings any bells?
They will retire from football before Arsene does. He isn’t going anywhere imo.
I agree with this story.
I support Mikel Arteta.
I’m an Arsenal fan
Thank you for information sharing
Holy shit mate. You predicted it!
OMG it was all true!!!!!!
he doesnt care , he is crypto billionaire already
Okay, be honest. How many other articles have you written about other Formal players becoming the manager? Are you just pulling a Goonerdave?
Holly Shit!! You made look like you typed all this in future!!
I remember reading this in 2012.